You're watching TV/ I stay up all night
Biblical buckets full of rain coming down, standing on a street corner, just because. And then, moments later, being snapped out of your reverie by people, who are your fellow humans, hustling on by to some obscure destination. Particles of moisture are collected in cloud formations and then released, to fall hundreds of feet down and get on your jacket as you jog to a lunch appointment, where you will be shifting in your seat because of that same water saturation. “Hey, what’s your problem today?” your companion will ask, and you will be at a loss for what to say— Not realizing, all the while, that it relates back to the soaked jacket you have on, your irritated skin, and moisture particles.

The balmy early spring weather of last week has been harshly juxtaposed with a duo of rainy days, encompassing your brain and making you wish for some small respite, a kiss on the mouth or otherwise. And I don’t know if it’s the weather, but everyone I know seems horrendously depressed. In fact, I can’t think of one person I know who hasn’t expressed a sentiment within the last few days that isn’t totally certifiable. And believe me, the bar is low. But even then we find ourselves with our legs just all caught up in it, falling to the surface and not too amazed by the results.

How can that be possible? Antidepressant commercials have broadened the diagnostic spectrum to include just about everybody in the viewing audience. No one, actually, is absolved from at least one of the symptoms they’re describing, as the cartoon iconography garishly dances around the screen, the lugubrious blue blob of a figure demonstrating a sad frown before being given the pill that has it smiling like a motherfucker. And it’s not hard to imagine that, before long, we’ll all be there, too.

One girl I know who used to take the aforementioned medication describes her experience in the following way: “It neutralized me to the point that you could have exploded a bomb next to my head and I wouldn’t have minded one bit.” And so I guess the consequence is yours (ours). The morning paper today reports that the USA comprises 5 percent of the global population and consumes a quarter of the world’s resources, making this country the most accommodated place on the face of the earth. In relation to that statistic, it’s kind of unnerving to realize that this same country spends in excess of 6 billion dollars a year on antidepressants. It’s pretty weird.

Meanwhile, as I stand there in the rain, a middle-aged man comes by. He looks familiar from somewhere, like a child star in older age. He has been through the wringer, maybe. The initial success of his sitcom did not entirely pan out. And now he is here and there I am. He looks twice as he’s about to pass by and then asks, “Buddy, are you OK?” Yes, I assure him, I am. But he is not assured. “Well, you were standing there the last time I walked by, and you’re all wet.” I was just about to go, I tell him, which I do, walking away, and realizing for the first time that I’ve never owned an umbrella.