Where there's a will there's a whalebone
Standing in line at the SuperCenter. The nerve-frayed woman in back of me has lost track of one of her spazzy children, pulling me from my neon-lighting induced trance. “Ronnie,” she calls out, “Where are you? –Ronnie?” The first hints of hysteria creeping up in her voice as she cries out his name. The other children in her custody also begin whining in synchronicity, and the general public starts casting eyes about, to see where Ronnie has disappeared to. He could be half way to crossing state lines by now, in the back of somebody’s Buick. But then, thankfully, he produces from a clothing rack, turning what was about to be a 5 O’clock news’ story into the rather tepid affair of being reunited with his mother. “Ronnie, don’t you ever do that again,” the woman scolds him, as the squirrelly little child clings tightly to her leg. Yeah, Ronnie, I think, what the hell is wrong with you?

Bronchitis has prohibited any and all contact with other people for the last three days. Hasn’t modern science advanced to a point where you can somehow eradicate the common cold? It seems weird to me. Oh, well: I haven’t been sick in a while and so whatever. I bide my time by watching television and find myself transfixed with Run’s House, the MTV reality series about the life of former Run-DMC member, Joseph Simmons. It’s hard to say exactly what it is I like about this show. At first it seems scripted, as “Rev Run” continuously issues forth statements that are evocative of fortune cookie distribution. But then there’s these other moments too, like when he’s talking to his son about getting better grades. “What if I decided to just do second-best,” he admonishes, casting a glance around the room, “then you wouldn’t have your sneaker collection and all these nice things.” There’s something that carries in the tone of Run’s voice, something mellifluous and easygoing while simultaneously being able to convey the essential message at the heart of all that. The kid is shaken by Run’s rhetoric and agrees to try harder. Amazing. Another great part of the show is that the end of every episode features one of those moments, like they used to do it on Doggie Houser, MD, where he would summarize the show in a paragraph on his Commodore 64 computer. Run breaks out his BlackBerry while sitting in a bathtub and pecks out the message, the moral of today’s program. “Do you struggle to balance your work life, your family life and your mission in life? Well, I've got news for you: Life is a struggle, and the harder you work the more alive you should feel. So embrace the effort and you'll discover that the balance will find you. God is love.” I love these standard deductions, the ability for someone to produce forth some sweeping statement, with nuggets of wisdom and Zen Buddhism. I find myself getting really psyched for the next episode of Run’s House and then I realize: I’ve probably just been taking too much cold medicine. I’ll probably be better soon. Maybe I’ll see you around.