I love you I love you I love you: what's your name
Listen: we have something to report up here in the headquarters: we are in love. Not with anyone we actually know, however, which is defeated by our x-ray vision, always finding the worst in people, but with a total stranger. Said person is a girl we see walking by our window everyday, and who, we are pretty much sure, does not actually exist, as we’ve never actually seen her outside of our window frame, veritably dashing into the hall every time we see her walk by, only to find no one. And, we know: this is a little creepy, as our coworkers have even taken note of our affections for said stranger, chiding us with this fact daily, but we do not care, because let us repeat: we are in love. It’s hard to say exactly what it is about this person that we find so appealing in particular: if it’s her not-quite-skinny that appeals to us-- which is just one in an entire sucession of late day predilections that we cannot quite explain. Or her being consistently fifteen minutes late to work everyday, which is also like us. Or the general sense of uncaring that she seems to demonstrate about this fact. The truth is, we do not know. But we intend to find out, erroneously dropping a line like, “—I see, sometimes, walking by my window,” scaring her away once and for all, as we sometimes do to people. No, we will practice something better in the mirror, actually, in the bathroom, and then we will set to work. That is how is should be. We will keep you posted.